I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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