Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize