the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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