wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
