If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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