I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
