We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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