If i come over, it means nothing
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
