I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
