i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my shit smells like andre
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
