WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
