Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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