That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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