Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
