my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
