okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize