I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
