1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
