he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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