Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
vagina is talking i cant
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
