Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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