Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
