nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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