Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
