your parents love me but you hate me
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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