Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
