But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
