I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
