All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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