I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
they're like a gay fantastic four
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
