All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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