No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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