"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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