Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
