The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
