So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
