is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I could fuck to npr.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How does it feel to date your dad?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
