hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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