What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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