so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
