He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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