He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize