i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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