If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
