He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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