We're like a lot better than the average bears
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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