I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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