I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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