He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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