Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize