That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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