I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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