They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
