I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize