just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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