just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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